I wish I could tell you this was a new ABBA tribute band - although if it was, it would be called Flabba (you'll get it in a minute, and you'll chuckle hard...) - but it is in fact a group of X41 bus passengers who are limbering up at their local bus stop in east Lancashire.
I thought that perhaps an honest bus company had finally come out and admitted it's quicker to walk to your destination with one hand super-glued to your foot than to use public transport, but no such luck: "A whole new meaning is being given to the phrase ‘queue jumping’ as a campaign starts to get people exercising at bus stops," according to the Lancashire Telegraph.
I personally hope this scheme will enable passengers, once fitter, to chase missed buses for farther distances - perhaps impressing bus drivers enough to bully their consciences into halting. If not, then at least by the time racing commuters accept they've failed to convince drivers to open up, they've reached the next bus stop and are spared the embarrassment and mean-spirited glares that await their return at their original stop.
We're told that leaflets and posters are being distributed between Accrington and Helmshore: "Featuring six easy-to-do Pilates-style positions and movements, designed to improve posture, alignment, strength and flexibility." For anyone who fears they may feel some embarrassment working out in such a public place - who would? What are a few well-intentioned lunges between public transport customers? - the campaign should put those concerns to rest: "Passengers balancing on one leg, circling, pointing and flexing ankles or simply standing tall, with shoulders back and buttocks in, are told not to feel self-conscious as the movements are discreet." Feel better now, right?
More concerning than the humiliation issue, is the thought of over-60s limbering up at bus stops unattended. Will there be 999 calls to the local ambulance service reporting that an 86-year-old man is unable to board a bus because he got his leg stuck while impressively propping it on top of the bus stop bench? Will citizens of a similar description helplessly watch their buses whizz past them while their non-compliant hands (often used for hailing modes of public transport) are steadfastly focused on touching their toes? But apparently, the 'Every Stop Helps' campaign team purposely decided on the X41 route as "it’s used by a mixture of people with a range of abilities." This is most likely a method of mortification: that is shaming younger, unfit members of the bus-using community into exercising by implicitly snarling: "If old people can do it, so can you, you muffin-top-lard-ass-yoof."
Are YOU lamenting the fact that this scheme is restricted to east Lancashire? Wish you could stand behind a troop of stretching bus commuters? Fear not. The campaign group have spoken: “Eventually we’d like to see ‘Every Stop Helps’ extended to other bus routes and train journeys.”
Who needs to watch the Olympic gymnasts on TV when your friends and family are making history right here on our streets? You witness a greasy, 21-stone teenage boy doing star jumps on a street corner and tell me your human rights haven't been violated. China ain't got nothing on us.
I personally hope this scheme will enable passengers, once fitter, to chase missed buses for farther distances - perhaps impressing bus drivers enough to bully their consciences into halting. If not, then at least by the time racing commuters accept they've failed to convince drivers to open up, they've reached the next bus stop and are spared the embarrassment and mean-spirited glares that await their return at their original stop.
We're told that leaflets and posters are being distributed between Accrington and Helmshore: "Featuring six easy-to-do Pilates-style positions and movements, designed to improve posture, alignment, strength and flexibility." For anyone who fears they may feel some embarrassment working out in such a public place - who would? What are a few well-intentioned lunges between public transport customers? - the campaign should put those concerns to rest: "Passengers balancing on one leg, circling, pointing and flexing ankles or simply standing tall, with shoulders back and buttocks in, are told not to feel self-conscious as the movements are discreet." Feel better now, right?
More concerning than the humiliation issue, is the thought of over-60s limbering up at bus stops unattended. Will there be 999 calls to the local ambulance service reporting that an 86-year-old man is unable to board a bus because he got his leg stuck while impressively propping it on top of the bus stop bench? Will citizens of a similar description helplessly watch their buses whizz past them while their non-compliant hands (often used for hailing modes of public transport) are steadfastly focused on touching their toes? But apparently, the 'Every Stop Helps' campaign team purposely decided on the X41 route as "it’s used by a mixture of people with a range of abilities." This is most likely a method of mortification: that is shaming younger, unfit members of the bus-using community into exercising by implicitly snarling: "If old people can do it, so can you, you muffin-top-lard-ass-yoof."
Are YOU lamenting the fact that this scheme is restricted to east Lancashire? Wish you could stand behind a troop of stretching bus commuters? Fear not. The campaign group have spoken: “Eventually we’d like to see ‘Every Stop Helps’ extended to other bus routes and train journeys.”
Who needs to watch the Olympic gymnasts on TV when your friends and family are making history right here on our streets? You witness a greasy, 21-stone teenage boy doing star jumps on a street corner and tell me your human rights haven't been violated. China ain't got nothing on us.
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